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Not Waving, Drowning
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Not Waving Drowning book/CD
Not Waving Drowning is a book and CD and also includes immediate download of all 13 tracks on the album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire."Sold Out
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1.2.3.Seatbelt hands 02:364.5.You were a house on fire 02:256.7.8.9.Death by shotgun 01:3610.11.Stick this in your ear 01:0912.13.This is it 02:00- about
- This is a poetry album. The physical copy comes in a book/cd combo, and includes the tour video. You can watch the tour promo video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jMAbaNjPSA
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released 01 March 2009
by Dan Smith - license
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- Track Name: You have never lived because you have never died
-
I saw 13 black crows as black as 3AM
and as big as vultures eyes
wings hanging to their sides like laundry on the line
standing in a circle letting their tongues dry
they’re coming for me like thieves or ghosts
stealing songs, and whispering poems to themselves
about nonsense and existence
I saw 4 black eagles, with horns growing towards the ground
like columns or anchors reaching for the bottom
their feathers folded like hands on a man resting in his coffin
bending over each other rattling my bones
drumming out the answers in ways I will need one day
their hooves are giving me growing pains
I sleep like a tornado
I saw 18 black hawks, with beaks full of teeth
roaring like a pack of wolves in perfect V
with hoods over their eyes to cover up what they’ve seen
secrets bouncing off the insides of their lips meant for me
they landed on my life like spears, ears tucked back like arrow feathers
wings spread wide like storm clouds over kansas
hailing on me teaching me their dances, they gave me armor
I saw 9 black owls, they were quiet as death
they had talons like antlers growing from their hearts
and they were tearing me apart
each bird was tagged like cattle with one word
and they burned them in to my mind...they read
you have never lived because you have never died - Track Name: Falling in love with glaciers
-
I met a shell of a mountain who knew she was finished
claimed she grew up from a grain of sand
with every year wider she bloomed a little bit longer
to the roof of the sky with outstretched hands
she made friends with the sun, shared enemies with no one
counted weeks like she should of counted days
and swallowed handfuls of night so she could sleep tight
and turn her thoughts from its stone cold ways
and this was the beginning, the start of the ending
you can't die from a broken heart
but from the time the sun rose
to the space where it fell away
she would love, and it wouldn't take part
and every every day she would echo echo
in every single way she should let go let go
and it had her in its sights cupids icy arrows
so she caught every one with her heart like it was her duty
it walked the wrong wrong way down her one way plan
she was surrounded by forests, rivers and beauty
until that glacier froze over the land
and so she blamed herself hated her wealth
she was born at too young of an age
and every night her dreams were touched by witches fingers
until her heart was caged.
with every morning spent not caring if she cares or not
sleeping in the melt and mud, waiting for the earth to rot
burying herself alive she scrapes the hole that it left open
empty as her very heart, that mountain was all broken - Track Name: Seatbelt hands
-
She's the kind of lady that calls everybody baby
honey, sugar, sweetie, she's always making friends
and she keeps us all locked outside her thick leather skin
she always starts with a smile, it's small and butter yellow
but easier than a handshake, doesn't like her hands touched
she tans alot, gets burnt alot smoking through the cartons
but then gets put out so much, she's considered a bargain
she was born on the fourth of july with her hand on her heart
loves america, & being patronized, no one ever told her to guard her heart
she was an angel for halloween once, but never again
and for christmas ever year she's haunted by demons
they always tell her they love her.
she used to believe in innocence until she lost it
and spent a long summer, riding the trains
she has cats and collectors plates to keep her sane
watching TV in her favorite chair...both of which are rented
she's alone, and surrounds herself with loners
her life is a loan, lent out to anyone who will own her
waiting for the night to sweep her off her feet, while she mops the bathroom floor
hoping for a winning ticket or a man to treat her right
but they're both a gamble and she's been a loser all her life
and if she had a nickel for every time she's been punched and kicked
she'd put it together with her camel cash, try to buy some happiness
they always tell her they love her, but then they take something from her.
she shows everyone her dreams, crumpled up like leaves from holding on too tight
scattered in her shoebox coffin on the cardboard walls covered in butterflies
she's got love in her heart for her babies, and hope in her mind for tomorrow
and blood on her hands that only she sees, holding the last bit of time that's borrowed
but you never know where that heart has been, and we'll never know how hard it's been
I wanna cut open my chest and let her in, but that won’t fix what needs to mend
and she stands there unlit cigarette in hand
filling up that empty hole with anything that’ll pour
insides hanging out like a flare, gun, warning.
there’s beauty in that pain, can you see it?
she’s crashing through life with seat belt hands
one accident away from a miracle
and there’s an honesty there, but I can’t take it all in
she hides the worst of it in the wrinkles
that’s the ache you get when there’s no where else to go.
and she’s got no where else to go, doesn’t want to go there.
I promise I’ll go with her. - Track Name: Failing is not just for failures
-
I lost my best friend to sadness.
wouldn't move couldn't figure it out
and with a head hung heavy in madness
I left him for dead, without doubts
failing is not just for failures
it's for everyone, failures just have more experience
but I can't quit now says the whistling in the wind
if I'm a quitter now then I'll quit her in the end
I'll throw away weapons, and set my heart to win
with the weight of the world trying to stop me
breathe out inhale, my little heartbeat
and I'll do this for you, because the world needs it
if I don't I'll lose hope and we'll lose it
when all is lost I'll think of you
there's nothing in this world that ghost can do
no matter what's ahead I'll push on through
for your life for your death, I'll remember
I lost my best friend to sadness
I'm a child in this world with no one
and if I'm the last chance for happiness
I'll need answers from the mountains or I'm done
it has to hurt of it's to heal
my god it must be healing
it's like a knife in the heart
and I'm starting to lose feeling
it's gonna hurt before it heals
but the pain is getting bigger
this dams about to go
and I'm running out of fingers
it'll hurt but it will heal
I'm starting to believe it
eyes wide open in the darkness
and I really can't see it
it's burning right now
and I want you to feel it somehow
but without the pain of knowing it
breathe in...exhale the fire of living it
when all is lost I'll think of you
there's nothing in this world that ghost can do
no matter what's ahead I'll push on through
for your death for your life, I'll remember
and I've reached the sea where I can go no further
all these possibilities keep forcing me towards the goal
confronted with their true self most men run away screaming
with nothing as their enemy it's hollow and it's whole.
stuffing sorrow in their souls
until all hope is lost in the infinite
I won't ever say goodbye because there's not much good in it
I'll stay the course, you've sailed away
while my path leads to uncertainty
I'll finish this race, you've quit so early
I'd invite you to swim but drifting is not swimming
and this is it, you've given me no choice
but to use mere words to stay alive. while you've paid them no mind.
and I'll tell stories about your life, you are no hero but I'll lie... ...
because, when all is lost I will think of you
there's nothing in this world that ghost can do
no matter what's ahead I'll push on through
for your life for your death, I will remember - Track Name: You were a house on fire
-
and you were a house on fire, and I couldn't understand why
burn me all down to the ground, you said, the fire is on the inside
flames dancing like ghosts, behind the windows
pain jumping from the walls
you want to keep this private, I can see that
but you can't ask that of me, we've only just met
I said we need hope now more than ever before, do you believe it?
the answer was silence.....I took it as a no
we all want to be normal anyways
we all want to be somewhere else than where we live
but that's not reality, it's just point of view
let's not talk about the weather
and whether or not there's really rain the clouds
unless you want to know if I feel the same as you
it's more measuring up than just wasting time
but time is not on our side, you're burning
rain would only be a temporary fix
and there's just no place right now for cute ironies
We all write songs about life, we just sing them different.
you sing the words but you don't know the song.
and you expect us all to sing along? how selfish
the lengths that we go to, to put so much distance between us is staggering
you’re burning alive with stress and life
both hands in flames trying to hold the fire inside
drop and roll ...repeat line for emphasis.
I’ll repeat it and repeat it until you believe it
you're gonna be ok! say it to me...
the answer is still silence ... I’ll take it as a maybe
I can't decide if I should knock down your door or on it
say the word and I’ll take an axe to your heart or a pin prick
cut right through the dark, let it spill out the contents
on our knees sorting through the remnants
pour out your hate in my hands, I’ll let em slip through my fingers
and this is for you, and this is for the times that we only listen long enough to know the other person we’re talking to has the same opinions we do.
for when we’re burning inside, for when we’re trying to hide that fact
this is for the scalps that we went after, to be only the best dressed
to scrape another notch on our belts, add another feather to our headress
I want to be the bigger man for you, but I can’t take this truth
I'm trying to kick the habit here, but these track marks are 100 proof
burn me all down to the ground, you said
I’ll kick through your ashes, hope they sober up my head - Track Name: Save up your hopes friends
-
people who have no hopes are easy to control
with nothing and uncertainty
rumors of wars with monsoons and tornadoes
will keep fear over their eyes and locks on their feet
if there were something then at least that would be something
but there's not and it buries cracks of drought
tearing apart empires and homes and the dreams of men
sealing the entrance and every way out
there is hope but no heart can touch it
unless it's traded wants, for others needs
it is emptiness that is left and destroying the world
priceless possessions held so tight that it bleeds
the end is near, they won't believe it
until a waking nightmare they can see it
and they'll know it has begun
when zero blocks out the sun
blinded by the fact that they can see nothing
one by one they scream silently as they run
it'll start like hot rain searing through the leaves
and boil the sea turning every grass yellow
it comes with no warning and wants no reprieve
as it begins with dark clouds and silence
the oceans will be covered in water
and the mountains turned in to sand
the trees will be scattered like stars in the night
and beneath it all will be buried the land
the air will turn sour and make mothers hate their daughters
and fathers will take the blade to their sons
earthquakes will level houses
hurricanes will take the cattle
birds of prey will lay claim to the rest
the crops will be devoured by locusts and lightning
and when nothing is left, the thunder will rest
the mountains in the sea will crack at their bases
and send the earth far away from its sun
they'll fall off the planet and leave the world weightless
and everything will freeze together as one
and for years that measure one million times seven
times eleven million by seventy seven
it'll rocket into nothing, rock ice spinning into nothing
until fire smashes it into glass
and sends a rain of boiling vapor
like arrows ripping into paper
on to our heads, lava and poison ash
and it begins. save up your hopes friends
and send them to the corners of your end
there is something coming, and everything matters
guard your heart, and watch the wind - Track Name: Maybe we are all beautiful
-
and all of this is beautiful, and I feel like I've never believed you
or maybe I just didn't get it, and trusted too much in what I was told
but as I see it now... I know it for myself,
and not just know it but I feel it in my heart
and to describe all of this with words I'm not capable of.
I don't know enough words, or the right ones.
Or an impossible combination of so many things.
From my brain to my heart to wrapping all that up with thoughts.
You already know this and may or may not care, and that's not the point.
you made it all with words, or probably even just thought or intention
but that's just the words I can think of to describe it.
you begged and I wouldn't listen, wouldn't even hear it
here it is screaming truth in my face
about life and how that fits with the future and I wouldn't take it in
and now I can see it right there in front of me
you really made all of this with words?
I believe you, even though you don't need me to
but I know you want me to and are concerned about that
I'm loved. I know that, and I have love. It's so precious,
I have love to give. Is there anything more for me to want here?
it's OK if I die my heart is full, so very full with you
the mountains and sky and life
are you serious? of course you are.
I couldn't believe it as I read it
and that time is lost, but now is not and I love you, please believe me
thank you for loving me. - Track Name: I'd like to offer you my dearest apologies
- I'm a deer caught in the headlamp glow of your traffic jam life. And so, murderously i stand innocently all wrapped up into one here in your path, crash. And all i can think of is no, and all you can think of is no. No, i don't want to. No, i don't need this. No, i don't know what to do. It's my last decision and it was so selfish. I wasn't thinking of you. And now i've killed you and you've killed me, and i did it so stupidly, please forgive me. I wanted it so bad crouched in the darkness. I couldn't wait either, staring into your eyes. I wanted what i couldn't have, and that was so heartless. I saw the light and my legs began to rise. Why i waited until you came along? I don't know. As i sit here in a pile of myself thinking about it all. Was it rash, or was this my fate? I'm sure it wasn't yours. I'll take the blame, it was me who came into your path. If it's all the same, i'm really sorry i can understand your families sad. And if you can't accept my apology please don't feel bad about cursing my name (atreyu). I'm just a deer who got caught. I got scared, and i forgot what it was i was doing, what i was pursuing. It's not the way i usually run my life. What a mistake. The whole time i'm asking: what am i doing? Who is this running my thought process? I wish i would have thought before i did what i did, and for that i'm sorry. I offer you my dearest apologies.
- Track Name: Death by shotgun
-
He's been out of work for months, but still dresses for the office
kisses his wife goodbye, and heads for his park bench
every morning briefcase in hand
he just can't seem to tell her, inside he's no longer a man
he looks through the paper convinced nobody wants him
hands to his side in surrender, chest caved in
eyes half open, not tired, but not awake
he spends his days hoping for an end to the head ache
and he writes it all down, about everything and nothing
talks about his kids, and how he wants to leave 'em something
he's got a thing for pain, and blocks it all with his heart
and to keep from going insane, he puts it all in his art
and that eases his mind, but it never lasts long
he keeps repeating to himself
you gotta be strong (you gotta be strong)
but he just can't seem to pull it all together
try's to think of the ways that it could all be better
his family and his life no longer compel him
he talks to himself, and says you gotta swim
he's tired of the sickness and begs for the insulin
try's to keep above water, prays for the will to win
wants to be a good father, but he knows that he's not one
and dreams of eating a barrel full of death by shotgun - Track Name: Put another rock in my hand
-
These fists seem strong don't they
they've moved the ground and kept us safe
but they are crumbling, my fingers numbing
I'm not reaching out I'm pushing you away
please trust it's for your well being
I don't want you here when I come down
so no words are spoken
with my eyes wide open
froze in disbelief ready to be found
these hands look strong don't they
they used to hold the world
then It slipped away, I couldn't quite keep it
and nothing isn't blurred
I left my life and my family
like a coward or a hack
now regret hates me
it's fear that saved me
it took the mountains in its path
put another rock in my hand
help me throw it at me
it's all my fault
throw them all at me
these arms look strong don't they
they used to keep it all
then they stopped working, I had to give up
I closed my eyes and began to fall
I ran, my motives were safety
this stone face all wet with tears
now I have failed here
my hearts impaled dear
I'll wear these scars for all my years
these hands look strong don't they
they hold my head and what's inside
I've tried to train them to stop the shaking
but they won't listen to these lies
there's something out there I promise
it's coming for all of us
and it is evil, and I have seen it
it'll spoil life and devour trust
it's bad when I close them
worse with my eyes open
I see it if I sleep
so I keep my mind blank
and think of bravery
change and hope but I'm so weak
please take me in like I'm family
I've been out for far too long
my stone hearts aching
but I am changing
stay by me, leave me alone
put another rock in my hand
help me throw it at me
to build this wall
and separate me - Track Name: Stick this in your ear
-
It is just not fair coma how you can apostrophe T
process this so dash called savuafair coma in the air exclamation
trying to be compatible so hyphen to dash speak semi colon
with my quotation quotables colon
you love who you are period i love who i am period
but when it comes to liking parentheses yourself
you have a question mark period new paragraph
I have a solution i have a fresh point dash of hyphen view period
I apostrophe M punctuating boundaries ampersand all caps
cannot speak to you quotations mentally underscore evidently
ellipses end line tab it is so hard to re dash invent myself
to a platform that you can italics understand period
that you can hold in your hand
coma why question mark am i the quote
infection that keeps your head dash aching period
parentheses if you would listen to the synergies of my thoughts
it would keep your quote foundation from shaking exclamation
so all caps bold this is for your ear coma for your head coma and for your thoughts
just cram it in far and you will see dot dot dot. - Track Name: The music that the angels do
-
I want to be the insulin the needle medicines instrument. With every increment, killing it, filling it, then revealing that. Although presumptuous with the outcome where doubt runs in large sums. I speak the words given to me like spouts run. Whispered through the moon, sky, fire, water, and the earth. To these ears and eyes aspires this father to birth. Listeners don't be so sure when that time comes a knockin. That you haven't been watching that wrong clock. Tic talking to you, telling you it's alright, it's ok, follow me, forget what you're doing let's all go this way. But if you listen, if you really try to be that silent person. You'll know that you need some more time for rehearsing. You're on the clouds now, go there, don't worry for us. You're where you dreamed about, sung about, don't think about us. And although grim words reap what they sow. As the angels sing their songs so you know. You think you know, but you don't because we all have to die. And we fight it, we fight it like we can win against the sky. Or time or death or youth or earth or what we have. It's what the angels do for all it's worth, so here's a stab. It's not rap, or rock it's not pop or independent. It's the language of love, and death with every remnant.. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors and it all falls apart. People it all falls apart and you're left holding your heart. Massaging it hard, but you can't get it to start.
and they sing for us, but we don't want to hear it. They watch over us, and we hide our own spirit. Well they do it all for love just to keep us brand new. It's the music that the angels do. Oh they sing for us, but all we seem to do is hide. They watch out for us, and we keep it all inside. See they do it for love, even though we're all used. It's the music that the angels do.
you're not drinking enough there buddy to drown out the sound. So take it easy there young one we're all lost and found people. With profound calling all bound and falling together. But no matter whether your to my arm or to foot. I'll hold you out like you're my heart and let people read this book. It doesn't have a sound, but oh i'll let it fill my ears. You can't touch it, smell it, see it, but it will bring you years. It's knowledge, it's wisdom, it's so much more than right now. It's in your breath, it gives you life, it's the answer to all your hows. And i'm nothing i really believe that in the grand scheme of things. I'm just doing my part trying to say these things to you from my heart. Let the tears drown out your thoughts and think closely of home. And if you can't compose yourself it's best to compose a poem. Right here where it's empty, from where it's empty and hurting. Let it float away like a feather or whatever but without burden. I'm a child and so are you, so let's learn it all again. Flip the page again and hit the stage of life again and again. I'm not scared anymore it's because of you who saw me through. The music that the angels do, i listen and translate what they say for you. - Track Name: This is it
-
well darlin this is it, and I'm not a complicated person
you're all I've got, and I mean you're all I'll ever need
just like you are, you look like you could use these open arms
with these broken arms, I'll try and hold you all together
you spun the wheels, on this rusty heart, & I'll never be the same
and we're no accident, though sometimes we won't survive the crash
I'll be your ambulance, I'll let you sleep right here inside of me
let it leave a scar when it heals, so we can remember what not to do
it's those natural tattoos that I love, drawn over every inch of you
It's our only map, it's all we'll ever have to offer
and all I am is for you, until I'm tied down to my coffin
I'm not that good with words, I'll try my hardest anyways
and they get caught, in my throat no matter how loud I scream them out
grow old with me, I can't seem to say it any more convincingly
I'm sure that this is it, our song's playing anyways
so let's go and dance, like ghosts happy to be alive
we're so much stronger, than anything they've ever taught us to fear
and that's my plan, it's thin but it'll stand up just the same
so take my hand, hold it like your life depends and close your eyes
and take a step, I want to be the ground--right there like it's always been
you pulled the pin, and asked me to hold your heart together
but not with words, you crash landed right here inside my hands
my little bird, let's go and fly this globe all over
and show them how, our love does fill up all the oceans
I don't deserve you, and I'll probably fail you in almost every single way
and so I'm sorry, love your husband on your wedding day